It’s an unusually cold, wet and rainy day here in Los Angeles. Seems like a good time for a beach cartoon.
Transcript
Panel 3
Sergeant: I hate volleyball.
Toullie and Sister: Hee, hee, hee…
Episode 84 – ‘A Day At the Beach’
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Episode 79 – ‘Drought’
We’re now halfway through our fifth year of drought here in southern California. Many of our neighbors have switched to water-wise desert gardens or otherwise let their lawns die out completely. We stopped watering our lawn a couple of years ago but our grass is hanging in there. Sort of.
Transcript
Panel 1
Toullie: Cawifornia is facing a water cwisis, so wemember…
If it’s yewwow, wet it mewwow,
And if it’s bwown, fwush it down.
Panel 2
Sergeant: In other words…
If it’s pee, let it be,
If it’s poo, down the loo.
Panel 3
Sister: No bath! Yay cwisis!
Episode 78 – ‘Manners’
Lillian Gish once said: “You can get through life with bad manners, but it’s easier with good manners.” It’s true and you don’t even need to be sincere about it.
Transcript
Panel 1
Sergeant: Stop!
Panel 2
Sergeant: This is a toilet! You don’t play in it!
Panel 3
Toullie: If it’s called a ‘toy-wet’, why shouldn’t she pway in it?
Sergeant: Because we drink from it, silly.
Episode 77 – ‘Time And Tide’
Thank goodness potty jokes never go out of style or I would have nothing to write about.
Transcript
Panel 1
Sister: I need to pee!
Panel 4
Sister: Too late.
Episode 61 – ‘I Wite The Songs’
Originally published in May 2013.
Transcript
Panel 1
Sergeant: We need a new song.
Toullie: How about this one?
Panel 2
Toullie:
We’re two butts passing gas in the ni-i-i-i-ight,
We both smell and we say it’s alwi-i-i-i-ight,
Panel 3
Toullie:
We’re big weears…
Panel 4
Toullie: Not a Bawwy Maniwowe fan, huh?
Episode 53 – ‘Inspiration’
Originally published in April 2011.
Transcript
Panel 1
Toullie: Bowedom inspires cweativity.
Panel 3
Sergeant: Excuse me…
Panel 4
Sergeant: I have to create something now…
Episode 51 – ‘Confession’
Originally published in February 2011.
Transcript
Panel 1
Sister: Sometime I faht.
Sergeant: We all do.
Panel 2
Sergeant: Except Toullie. It wouldn’t be ladylike.
Panel 3
Toullie: For the wast time, I’m not a girl!
Episode 39 – ‘Call Of Doodie’
Originally published in February 2010.
Transcript
Panel 1
SFX: Scratch, scratch, scratch.
Panel 3
SFX: Scratch, scratch, scratch.
Panel 4
Sergeant: Your character sure poops a lot, doesn’t he?
Toullie: That’s why they call it a sandbox game.
Episode 30 – ‘Telemarketing’
Originally published in August 2009.
Transcript
Panel 1
SFX: Ring!
Panel 2
Caller: Hello! may I speak to Mrs Toullie?
Toullie: I’m not a girl!
Panel 3
Caller: Congratulations, Mrs. Toullie! You’ve won an exclusive opportunity to buy our very special offer!
Panel 4
Caller: Mrs. Toullie?
Sister: I make poo poo.
Episode 25 – ‘Process Of Elimination’
Originally published in February 2009
Transcript
Panel 1
Sergeant: Did you fart?
Toullie: No.
Panel 2
Toullie: Did you?
Sergeant: No.
Panel 3
Sister: Faht!